“ Improved relationships will require time, effort, patience, and a willingness to communicate about issues and past offenses with love and concern. Some things may not be resolved in this life. Trusting in Christ and His timetable will help each prepare to do all they can do to mend troubled relationships” ( Harper and Olsen).
I love this quote because not everyone has great in-law relations, in fact, I know the majority of people have complaints or unsatisfactory relationships with their in-laws. This quote reminds us that that is ok, it just takes time to overcome those bumps in the road. Trusting in Christ and His timetable will definitely help us have peace and comfort when relationships are rocky. As I have learned about growing to be apart of a new family as a daughter in law, here are some ideas and does and don’ts that might be helpful to those who are new to it or have yet to cross that bridge:
Do
- Find common ground with in-laws and establish fun traditions.
- Look for the good and the things you love about your in-laws/what they add to your life rather than the negatives or what you don’t like about them.
- Be honest and open with each other, but also respectful of one another’s feelings and already established traditions.
- Overall, create healthy ties with in-laws and extended family will bring your greater joy and feelings of connectedness if you are willing to adapt and set aside your pride.
- Nurture and strengthen your relationship with your in-laws, it will be eternally rewarding.
Don’t
- Assume or judge to quickly
- Talk behind backs or hide information
- Forgo all communication
- Not forgive
“Demonstrating humor, exercising patience, overlooking small irritations, and looking for the positive can help in dealing with differences.” (Harper, J. M. & Olsen, S. F. (2005). “Creating Healthy Ties With In-Laws and Extended Families.”)
Unlike some people, I am so beyond lucky to be blessed with the best in-laws! One of the best parts about getting married was actually gaining my incredible in-laws. They were part of what sealed the deal for me to marry my husband. In my opinion, building close relationships with your in-laws is essential. The relationships you build with them can truly magnify and bless your life in more ways that you can imagine if you work at it. In my situation, we live very close to both my parents and my husband’s parents, so we see them often. If our relationship was rocky, it would make Sunday dinners and other family activities awkward, but they are not because I have such great in-laws who want us to be a part of their lives, but also respect our distance. I would have to say that my mother in law is probably one of my best friends. We get along so well and have such great communication. Communication and time together has helped us grow closer and more fond of each other.
I really like the quote, “Demonstrating humor, exercising patience, overlooking small irritations, and looking for the positive can help in dealing with differences” (Harper and Olsen) because that is what it takes to maintain good strong relationships. Building close relationships with your in-laws is crucial because you will be with them for eternity. Personally, I hope that eternity is joyful, peaceful, and filled with fun times with all of my extended family and in-laws.
Reference:
Harper, J. M. & Olsen, S. F. (2005). “Creating Healthy Ties With In-Laws and Extended Families.” In C. H. Hart, L.D. Newell, E. Walton, & D.C. Dollahite (Eds.), Helping and healing our families: Principles and practices inspired by “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” (pp. 327-334). Salt Lake City, UT: Deseret Book Company.
Finding Joy in the Journey 